still can’t sleep

I’ve been in the habit of waking up a little too early and getting to bed a little too early, as well. There are so many weird feelings and pains associated with chemo and the neupogen shots. I have sensitive teeth as it is (I’ve previously ground the enamel off in my sleep) and today after my neupogen they were extra sensitive, made that delicious ice cream cone that I had a little less sweet than I had imagined.

I feel like there is an extra layer of skin over me, mostly over my hands and face. It feels like I am constantly trying to wash something off that isn’t there to really wash off. It’s strange, almost indescribable. There are also about 6 different types of stomach feelings that aren’t necessarily pains so much as they are annoying. The bone pain is the biggest pain and it hasn’t really kicked in as bad as it has been in the past. My insurance however, won’t cover a refill of the pain pills for this until after the Neupogen shots are over. I am going to start looking into natural combatants to this pain. I’m putting a lot of stock into the idea that eating a lot of fruit and drinking lots of superfood will help my immune system deal with these pains more.

Two chemo intakes down, ten to go. I forgot how it feels when the adenopathies break up from the chemo, it’s best been described to me as “crunchy” and that’s the best that I can do for my own vernacular.

Trying to figure things out with school before the end of this week and that is stressing me out.

I am also simultaneously trying to put together a whole lot of stuff to pass out/talk about/etc at an upcoming cancer benefit show that is happening in Tampa in June. We are hoping to raise a lot of money & I personally am hoping to pass out a lot of information to as many people as possible. Possibly even first edition-halfway-point-print versions of this for those who’re not aware of it. Here is the flyer, for all interested parties:



And also just real quick, because I’ve had such a good week in terms of having music to distract me almost entirely from feeling very bad at all. I have to post albums that have helped recently, not by being overly positive or anything in particular, but just by being exactly what I needed to feed my ears at the time:

The Detroit Cobras - Tied & True, Seven Easy Pieces
Shook Ones - The Unquotable A.M.H.
Morrissey - Well…the man’s entire discography, really. It’s a constant.
Reach The Sky - So Far From Home
Death In June - Rose Clouds of The Holocaust
Cult Of Youth - Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World
Russian Circles - Enter
Kevin Devine - Make The Clocks Move
13 & God - 13 & God
Alexander Turnquist - Faint At The Loudest Hour
Siouxsie & The Banshees - Juju

Right, take care.